I refuse to pee in a cup! I'm worried that I will accidentally pee on my hand.
They give you that tiny little cup. It's so tiny it could easily overflow, and then what do you do? Which way do you pull your hand? Can you react just in the nick of time? And no, I will not try to stop peeing midstream, that is um-possible.
Something else that can get your hand dirty with this unsanitary test. The cup is definitely not microwaveable. Why is that important? Well, if I have to spell it out. Temperature plays a big part in the structural integrity of plastic containers. If the cup melts inside a microwave, its shape will at least be somewhat compromised if it contained warmish hot liquid. Get my drift? And if it bends or twists at all during the process, I might just drop the damn thing to avoid peeing on myself, then what am I going to do? Fish it out of the nasty hospital toilet bowl? Yuck!
What if there is something wrong with me, you ask? and I need to pee in a cup for doctors to know the cause in order to cure me.
Here is what I figured: I'm still young; I don't get sick a lot; My family history is pretty clean; I don't sleep around; I don't drink too often; I don't smoke. What are the chances that I will be sick and this disease is only detectable by urine?
Now, the chances that I will accidentally pee on my hand, on the other hand (no pun intended) is probably at least 25%. So until I turn 45 or start pissing blood, I will continue to say no to the little cup.
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If you think this is too offensive, get over it! But do drop me a comment, so I know where your tolerance is, so future "disgusting" but interesting topics will at least have a warning up top.
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Being a guy, this isn't a problem I have but the other way to look at it is "How would someone who couldn't hold a cup manage?" Presumably they wouldn't get someone else to hold the cup, there's probably some tool to help you do it. Pretty much every task that someone could possibly struggle with (through disability or just lack of common sense) has some tool available to make it easier.
You could ask if any assisted living/disability charities in your area know of something, but that's going a bit far.
I guess the quick and easy solution "tool" solution would be cut a cup-shaped hole in a small piece of plastic. It won't have to be particularly sturdy because the cup weighs little, even when full, you could use the plastic from a microwave meal tub. Hold that rather than holding the cup. Throw it in the restroom waste bin on your way out. And/or wear a glove.
Or, easier still, just take a larger clean container, pee into that, then pour some into your small cup. There's also the "Sheewee" which may help.
Or, the better solution. When you have to empty bottles of urine for a family member because they can't make it to the bathroom, you quickly realise it's just pee. Trust me. There are worse things in life.
Weirdest blog entry comment I have ever made. :S
Thank you for your comment. Your solutions seem reasonable, though really, don't take it so seriously, eh governor?
If I had to pee in a cup, I will pee in a cup. It won't be the end of the world.
You are also absolutely right, there are plenty of worse things in life than peeing on your own hand. However, what this blog focuses on are the stupid little things that brings me and hopefully other people some relief from those worse things in life. So while your sarcasm is very very welcome, just try to keep that in mind.
I wasn't being sarcastic! :'( Sorry, I evidently missed the point completely, I did indeed take you seriously. :S I was honestly trying to be helpful, damn my misplaced enthusiasm. :D I perhaps miscommunicated the tone of my post, if I came across as confrontational, it was unintentional. I meant no disrespect, ma'am.
I came for the MSN spam, I stayed for the avoidance of peeing on hands. :) Although having called me "governor", I'm definately staying. I've never so much as had a "cheers guv" before, I think it should be compulsory for everyone in London to refer to each other by "guv" and "darlin".
Will,
Thanks for the new comment. I guess I took your first comment completely the wrong way. Being sarcastic myself, this has became almost a habit.
I am glad you will stay with the blog, I hope to hear future comments from you.
P.S. I am glad you didn't take offense to the "governor" bit ;)
WTF - ever hear of a FUNNEL or a STRAW? Bingo bango - you've got a nice clean cup of pee. Use your head.
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