I play with fire, I get burned

As most of us have encountered, throughout our lives, that one over eager student who always asks many many questions in any given class. As luck would have it, I have two in my class right now. I have long noticed a trend in these half man - half child - half student creatures, and will attempt to summarize their characteristics to the best of my abilities today.

1. They are half man - half child - half student.
This warrants some explaination. What I mean is 99%, if not all, of the time they are of the male gender, hence the man part. They often exhibit immature behavoir that resembles an over active child (details listed below), hence the child part. I see them in classes, learning stuff, hence the student part.

2. They like to sit in the first row, or as close to the teachers as possible. If it was socially acceptable for a grown man to sit on another person's lap, they would most likely do that.

4. Just sitting close to the teachers does not seem to satisfy their thirst for everything front-of-classroom. They like to sit on the edge of their seats.

5. Just sitting on the edge of their seats does not seem sufficient either, so they arch their back; extend their necks; tilt their heads; and pop their eyes out.

6. Due to the constant strain the above posture imposes on their organs, they will most likely be nearsighted.

7. Even though a lot of them are examplary modern technology-ist, they seem to be unaware of the existence of contact lenses. Therefore, they wear glasses.

8. Their pants always seem to be on too tight. Tight enough that you will recognize the giant crevice that is their butt crack, whether you like it or not.

9. Their hair is always greasy. If the class is not an everyday class, you start to wonder if their shower schedule is immediately after the class and not again until after the next class.

10. They breath heavily. You can hear them breathing from another row.

11. Their eagerness does not fade with age. If anything it ages like a fine vinegar. More potent every year.

12. They are quite impatient. Sometimes if they would just wait a few minutes, the answers to their stupid questions would present themselves.

13. They are not smart, just really annoying.

Since I have two of these creatures in my class, watching them go at it can really hurt. Today I felt pretty feisty, and decided to beat these 2 animated A-holes at their own game (As you can see from my summarization, I am quite familiar with how they operate.) I was on my toes all night. I kept an eye on each of them at all time and listened to what the professor had to say. As soon as I detect a question coming, I answer it for them before they even postulate the thought.

BIG MISTAKE! It was all fun and games until break time. Are you ready for the consquences I am facing?

I think they've fallen in love with me. They approached and crowded around me during break, asking me this and that.

Alright they are not in love, I'm exaggerating, but they definitely want to be friends or possibly studying buddies. And there lies the dilemma: I really don't want to. Can you imagine all the asinine questions I'll be on the receiving end of?! Needless to say, after the break, I kept my mouth shut, and went back to my quiet ways, and quickly ducked out of the room at the end of the class.

So I warn you, DO NOT ATTEMPT TO TITILLATE THE HALF MAN - HALF CHILD - HALF STUDENT CREATURES. They are not afraid to use their powers on you.

*Shudders*