Case study: Underbites

I, myself, have an overbite. Just confirmed it with the dentist. But this post isn't about me. Let's take a closer look at an underbite instead. Other than the obvious physical appearances, there are few characteristics, for better or worse, underbites possess unique to themselves. 1. They don't crumb.
I've tested this theory with 2 underbites, and observed another closely. I gave the subjects some Ritz crackers and placed them in front of a table with white table paper. I conversed with them while they ate. The results were conclusive: depending on the degree of the underbite, there are significantly less crumbs on the table than a normalbite and an overbite (such as myself) would produce.

2. They lisp.
Every underbite I've met and spoken to has exhibited a lisp to some degree. Don't believe me? make yourself into an underbite, and talk some S's.

3. They siphon more water in the pool.
Two words: Michael Phelphs. Maybe that's why he's been able to break so many records and win so many medals. By shovelling the water out of the way, he creates less resistance on his face. (This one is completely theoretical, further study needs to be conducted to prove its validity).

Note: If you are an underbite reading this, please don't be offended. These are simply obeservations from an overbite who crumbs.